Come to me ….

Come to me ….

Precious silence unveil your wings

surround me with your satin curtains

drown out the noise and blow away

my raving thoughts of madness

Sweet serenity come sit by me

and take me in your arms

feed me the nectar of your motionless movement

and immerse me in the silent symphony of balance.

Dark passions come and poison me

reek havoc in the corners of my mind

set alight the dry deserts of my heart

and unleash your tornado in my fountain of feathers.

Insightfulness come to me in the dark

and brighten my twilight with your flame of wisdom

let my eyes bear down on the ignorance of my enemies

and bestow upon me the knowledge of eternity

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Darkness is a lie. It is the absence of the light of truth.

Darkness is a lie. It is the absence of the light of truth.

Darkness was my companion this morning as I raced towards work. Playlists for my podcasts decided to stay behind at home.. So I was just accompanied the wonderful Delirium’s ‘Poem’ album as a soundtrack for my silence. As light now reaches into the evening the suns rays are still cast away in the morning.. It gives me more rest to thing and wonder about the things of life.

And I have plenty to think about. As Babylon is turned upside down I feel brotherly bonds slipping away as if they where never tied. I feel myself still in the shadow of the little kid that stayed behind as his brothers went about their business. Only now the chessboard is set up differently. While one just leaves me out of the whole debacle.. The others is hiding from me. Where I once thought courage and honor was his greatest virtue, the only things I see now are coward ness and fear. Fear of what ? The truth that will eventually catch up with all of us ? The shadow of ones soul that one can never run or hide from ? Is that it ? Am I cast out of this whole scenario because the ‘little brother’ might just have that one insight, that one comment where macho-ism , self pity and intimidation have no defense against ? Its hard to be locked out by ones brother only because they don’t seem to care .. Or because they are afraid of what you have to say.

And on the other hand it makes me proud, angry… and even feel apathy for the whole situation. Babylon is becoming a ruined battleground to which I am untying myself before it drags me to the bottom.

Enough … Today I found something that might fit right in my alley . Only this week I was thinking about ditching our windows server and going for a Linux alternative. Today this article was posted http://www.flexbeta.net/main/printarticle.php?id=88 Since I have found a copy of Suse Enterprise server 7.3 at the local second hand shop for 5 euro.. its worth a try. Tc did another show at spacemusic.nl today http://libsyn.com/media/spacemusic/spacemusic-2005-03-29.mp3 and it was great to chill out on this music. Especially the whole matrix dub in the beginning is great ! One of the bloggs I read up on http://www.livejournal.com/users/bois_inside/ has a pretty entry about girl/girl love and passion. Its wonderful to see the wanting and the fulfillment love can give. (are you narrow minded ? don’t click) All of us just look for happiness. In advance I can only say I’m going to be sick this weekend. Sunday at sever o’clock I am going to HAVE to see the doctor http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/ Its amazing how aunty beeb has done it again. The whole Doctor Who concept has been re-invented once again in this very 90”s re-incarnation of every ones favorite timelord. So I’m having kittens over this J Star trek Enterprise is going into its final episode http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/9996.html Because NO-One gives a ratts ass about this spin-off they decided to cancel it after four seasons (and it was a disgrace to the Roddenbery legacy anyway. ) To get some viewers a lame cameo for Riker and Troy has been thought up , of course the Holodeck is involved (typical for Rick Bermans lack of imagination) “The series finale is called "These Are the Voyages …" and it's probably no secret by now that this last episode of the Star Trek prequel features two very special guest stars: Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis.” I will of course watch it.. Just to toast to Archers demise !. I’m however worried for the continuation of the Star Trek legacy. I hope this is not forever the end of my fan-cultus… (worried frown). Well , There is always an alternative : After podcasting you can try http://www.antisnottv.net/ Videoblogging. From what I’ve seen so far… I’m not overly impressed but hey… Where else on TV can you see a girl having her period ! (I was not taken in by that videoblogg). Until next time !

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When Easter comes.


When Easter comes.

Yep , Easter weekend has come and gone and has left me with a craving for more time at home. After solving a rather complicated problem at a clients home Saturday morning we went out for a lovely walk in the town of Hasselt. Browsing through the high street made us realize just how much we feel at home in this province capital. Afterwards we lingered around in the city park and went for a sit in one of the swings there :). Just sitting in the sun.. feeling at home in a town where no one knows your name. That’s just about the greatest place I could call my home. I sometimes astound myself at how this country boy has swapped his small town where everybody knows everything about everyone for an urban lifestyle. But it went like a charm. Sunday we lounged out and watched some tv, went to my parents place, chatted with my mother who was home for the afternoon and made a bee-line for my aunts place. Once again I came to the wonderful conclusion that I am indeed a commodity in the family. The slightest techno-problem is reason enough to call me. But when major things happen in our family .. There is absolutely no reason to call me . I'm really getting fed up with that ! I not only FEEL like a commodity.. I AM a commodity. A 'service', a "help desk". And then people wonder why we crawl back in our protective social bubble in that far away place Hasselt ? Well my dears : It isn't even far enough away from all my roots ! As Babylon drifts apart I feel myself breaking free from the ropes that tie me down in that place.. And i am not too sorry.. But enough about that. Time is so sparse these day's I haven't had time to meet up with some old friends and I do hope we will be able to change this soon. In the back of my head the plans for our marriage are silently brooding.. Unable to seed due to the fact that the social soil is shifting and sanding. Our plans range from an intimate party .. to a mid sized reception-thing. My own family is gambling away their places on the guest list and the social minefield that is brooding because of that is something I do not want to wade through. I run for my Island of peace. Where world events come in over digital lines.. Where RSS feeds never fail to let me know when something changes. Where conversation is digital and where skype chimes in the friendly words from afar. Where cappuccino brings peace and her soothing hands run over the small of my back. Where a purring cat luls me to sleep and the gentle hum of an Ibook breaks the silence of my thoughts. Where a web cam spreads and brings smiles of joy and where Babylon is but a far away place in a troublesome dream. Posted by Hello

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Who is in motion ? the traveler or the destination.

well , those of you who visit this blog through www.knightwise.com : Welcome 🙂 As you can see the contents of the blog are now 'parsed' onto the main website. Unfortunately the pictures are not working yet 🙁 Some bizarre reason is the source of this. Sometimes it works other times it does not.. ) I presume the reason is that the pictures are stored on hello.com and they do not allow hot linking. Back to the drawing board i guess. At least we've made some headway.

Yesterday was a nice day at school. Although I was preparing myself for utter despair because of the big 'task' we have to do, it all turned out pretty fine. Me and the Swifter crunched the numbers and got part of the job done in a jiffy. Especially using my Ibook to connect to the routers over TELNET (and thus using my 'unix-terminal' in OSX was way cool) Just sitting there with my little white precious made me feel like i was lightyears ahead of the rest in matters of techno gizzmo's. Despair wil probably strike next week as we fall back when the going gets tough.

But then there is always my other white buddy to keep me company. Its amazing how much I have dragged my Ipod around these last few months. Constantly listening to music, podcasts, even ocean sounds.. Anything to surround me with the protective bubble of sounds. Within that bubble I live in a small world of my own.. where Slashdot headlines or daily source codes make up the news and events instead of the radio news. Within that bubble I look at the world around me with my own soundtrack of life playing on the background. Strange how music makes you look differently ath the things around you .. and how it changes your mood. … Yesterday… Headphones on.. Ambient Cafe del Mar tunes buzzing away on the background and just looking at the people around me. Thoughts, emotions, memories, impressions.. everything soothed by the gentle ambient tones.. As I crawl up in the protective ball of my own thoughts .. my Ipod generates a musical force field around me… And then I find my true peace.

And at that “mare tranquilatis” the waves of my emotions gently stroke the banks of my mind.. the urge to write comes as wel. Its fascinating how I have become accustomed to this blog. How I like writing down my thoughts and impressions .. How I feel the urge to be creative and express mysellf. Its like its bubbling inside of me and all I can do is let the words, thoughts and sounds flow out. As the dawn shoves the gentle mist over the rolling hills.. my steel chariot pierces the void around me. Hurling towards my next destination.. and but a speck on the radar of eternity.. I feel that these last few months have been good to me. Shure I don't like being away from home so much and I do wish I could settle down more. But then again.. this is who I am .. A hedon. Always on the run. Always the traveler. Perpetual mobility in a flowing universe. My thoughts and feelings only emerge like shy shadows when the people are gone and there is no one around. The come sit on my shoulder and whisper themselves in my ear. And as my momentum carries me over the sandy desert of time.. I sometimes wonder what the reality is ? Am i moving over the gentle slope of the planet.. Or is life rushing me by as I stand still on the sidelines. Wondrous is the silence that lets one ponder these questions…

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The Magic Indoneesians


Yesterday afternoon proved to be a fun episode in the week. Driving from work to school i stopped at a local Car wash not far from Geel. I had seen these dudes before , 4 or 5 whacky guyz that wash your car for 15 euro's (inside and outside ! ! ) As you know I'm lazy , and the 307SW was not the modern example of a clean car (Soot and salt and dirt all over). So i pulled over and decided let these guyz do their worst. And Damn, they where GOOD ! 'Just like new !' the guy calls out to me. And after ripping into the car like 5 Borgs on speed go at a starfleet shuttlecraft I barely recognized the 307. It was spot clean ! Its like driving a whole new car ! I mentioned the blogg, pulled out my digital camera and made the picture you see above. They where Super friendly these guys and I recommend everybody to stop on by and have these guys attack your dirty ride !

After that it was of to Leuven. Took my lunch break on the stairs of the square next to the Tiensevest and with the soothing sounds of www.spacemusic.nl I checked out the fine looking female students and in general watched the world go by. After tinkering with another podcast-experiment it was of to school.

Got home pretty early that night to find Saskia still up 🙂 We went to bed early and ended up chatting and teasing each other. ( According to Saskia , people might think that I am gay because i'm a 'real man' and no silly macho) I've been pondering that statement for a few hours now .. but am not getting any wiser (no comments on this Mr Swift , just shut up) But Saskia did mean it as a compliment.. so.. there you go.

The whole ASTRA debacle is over, I ordered my company car today.. and let you know what it is real soon .. its a surprise.

Last but not least : Got elected for the I-city project in Hasselt (more about that soon) and found a feed script that might just do the trick and parse this blog into the knightwise.com site

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A day in pictures.


Haunted by the shadows of sleep I crouch down amidst the sleeping dwarfs and wish for slumber to whisk me away. There.. that about sums up how I felt this morning. After having my third migraine attack in a row yesterday evening I popped over to see the doc. who kindly told me to start taking it easy and park my tush in bed until next Monday. Can't do that of course .. although when I got home last night I crashed on the couch (didn't even boot up my pc) and went to bed at nine. I'm just exhausted :(. Don't know what it is but.. I guess I have a hard time keeping up the pace sometimes. from this morning up to next Saturday afternoon the book is full so Saturday afternoon will be the first moment where I have the chance to relax a little bit. School tonight, School tomorrow.. Damn.. Leuven is becoming a drag. Where I used to be so full of energy when I arrived in Leuven , now I’m just a sleepy soul in the back of the room trying to stay focused on what’s going on. Its not that I’m not interested .. but I just can't keep the fire burning like it used to be. Guess the mileage is getting to me. But still. I hope I feel a bit better later on ( Jeej , here comes another migraine attack) I'm really off my normal state …

Enough complaints , I need your help. As you know I get to choose a company car pretty soon , and I have a choice between two models to choose from. So check out the pictures below and tell me what model you like the best. There is the Astra Break (very mature) and the Astra Hatchback (very sporty) . I'm interested in finding out how your perception is of me by choosing what car would suit me best . So there's the question. what car would suit me best and why (you can also pick the color : black/bleu/Silver). I'm curious about your input.

In other news : I'm kind of thinking of adapting the whole knightwise.com website. This by moving my blogg over to live journal so I can parse it in the main page (and you can read all my entries straight from the main page) and by using my blogspot.com account (this one) to post pictures on and making it a 'picture of the day' item I can crosslink to. TO bad I haven't heard from the guys who made that script (they where going to fix the TAG error you get on knightwise.com .. but hey , I got to move on.)

Meanwhile I’m pretty proud to be able to say I post almost daily on this blogg. I also have plans for a weekly pod cast , but don't know how I’m going to get it all done. I can do it 'all mobile' I guess. Record it on Wednesday afternoon (in the 1 hour break I have between work an school) and upload it the same night or the next day when I’m at the 'angelus' in Scherpenheuvel. ( FYI : the Angelus is this little tea room in Scherpenheuvel , crowded with old folks , but it has free wifi access and good cappuccino.. So what do you know !).

Although I have been dragging my camera around I haven't had the time of taking any pictures yet. I just don't get out of the car a lot I guess 🙂 I do have an Idea called : My day in images, basically taking pictures of my life all day long. Would be a cool thing for the blogg.

Well To give you a little idea of tonight I’ve posted a pic from school along with this post.

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You Suck !


Hmm Haven't gotten a time to post these last days. It has been busy too 🙁 Went out on Friday and I had to get up real early on Saturday to help out in the shop so my brother could sleep in ( erm… yess). One does it out of the kindness of ones heart but still its a bit stupid of me. Oh well. Skipped the Saturday-afternoon-walk-and-sleep session in favor of cruising to Leuven to go have a look-see at the new company car i'm getting from the firm I work for. The dude in the garage was not exactly up to speed in what I could buy and I didn't know hells bells about it neither (its my first Comp. Car, don't know how all that stuff is arranged) Took one 'possible candidate' for a spin and decided it was 'good enough' but I had to have more info about what my options where. So back to the drawing board. Bounced into Leuven in the late afternoon and had time for a great cappuccino and some walking around in the town. But Leuven is a shitty place. Its crowded, there is not much space and people are not all to friendly. At the risk of sounding arrogant I will say i would prefer good old Hasselt above Leuven, anytime !. Worked on a pc-from-hell the rest of the afternoon before we trotted out. Sunday was filled with PC-nightmare. Had to sit by this computer as i carefuly copied and restored 9000 mb worth of pictures and word files. Didn't even get a chance to hop by my parents place to go say hello to my mom (great, I’m gonna get flamed for that !) Saskia's grandma had her birthday dinner at six and I tagged along for some 'poestahooi' (look it up if you want to know what it means) and had a great time with her family. (why the hell can't my side of the fam. be more like that sometimes) More and more I get the feeling i'm alienating from the folks back home. Its like our paths are drifting apart and I don't seem nor notice nor to matter. I look at myself and see how estranged I have become from the boy I used to be back there. But the problem is that that is still how they see me. Thus I pull back further inside the protective bubble of my life and… well you know how it is. Was not feeling to well Sunday evening and that resulted in a tummy-trashing on monday. Out sick for the day (bless Saskia for taking care of me). Alternating between the bathroom and the sofa proved my exercise for the day. Laptop on the lap, episode of Battlestar Galactica to keep me company… I survived !

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An hour in dawn


Just a quick one today, because time is short. Started work a hour later today but decided not to sleep in. Had a nice time just sitting behind my Ibook , cappuchino in hand and the on-line moment of peace when there is absolutely no one on line to bug you 🙂 Nyana thought there where burglars in the house when she got up and found me still walking around the house (poor thing). zipped up to work in broad daylight accompanied by some podcasts to keep me up to speed. I'm probably going to drop my subscription on the madge weinstein show : www.yeastradio.com. Allthough its a nice anti-bush rant from time to time its getting to disorganised for my taste (and i like my podcasts tight and tidy). Looking forward to the weekend. Not that there is a lot of spare time to relax, there are still some fun things on the agenda. Going out browsing for my new (company) car on saturday and probably will end up couch-lounging on sunday. No matter , as long as i'm with the girl I love. Today i've posted a few pictures on the blog that make me feel 'at home'. Living the life of a cyber-gipsy it's sometimes important to have these pictures around. They make me feel at ease , happy , relaxed.. In other technotalk : I've been looking at a way to incorporate this blog into the main www.knightwise.com website. No luck as yett, allthough I have found out a great deal as to how SWIFT would be able to do it. Its a little complicated to get things just the way I want them. But we will keep on trying. Perhaps a peace of Marjoleins Cake (the one she bakes for her family) will give me some inspiration (hint !)

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Sparse sunlight and a poem over an encripted connection.

First of all : No pic today cause i'm mobile , Bloging at 'De geletterde mens' in Hasselt . Damn , My schedule at work changed today so I'm gonna have to start out later and finish an hour later allmost every day. The days I CAN start on time i'm gonna be driving straight up to school (MAN THIS SUX) I'm not pleased , but I don't realy have a choice in the matter. Since class was canceled today I found mysellf in the luxurious position of being able to set foot in town and catch some daylight when I got home. Enjoyed it. Went for a walk, Ipod on .. smelled the spring coming and tried to feel alive once more. I'm not one to complain about my busy lifestyle but… this is getting rediculous. Allmost every spare moment is bashed up with stuff to do. Work , school, the company … I've had to let all the freebies slide or i just won't have any life left at all. I'm seriously doubting how long i'm going to be able to keep it up. Work is time consuming (allthough i spend my commute-time wisely by listening to podcasts , I'm out at the crack of dawn and am now going to be back a lot later in the evening) Clients for my own little company need to be done and on top of that there is school , grabbing me away 2 whole nights a week , in a row. But somehow, no matter how fast i live, life seems to pass me by. I miss out on things, sitting on a terrace in the evening sun, walking through the park , having a cappuchino in the middle of the day.. boy i do miss those things. Maybe its just the spring bothering me.. but i've noticed i have given up so much these last years only to 'serve and protect' Its not allways fun. I try to do everything, if possible at once, and end up not being able to enjoy anything because I don't have the freakin time anymore to sit down and relax. It gets me frustrated sometimes. No matter how much I embrace my mobile lifestyle and encorporate it into my very life.. I often long for being at home, sitting at my kitchen table.. The cat not fare away. Plugged into a wired port into the familiar subnet of my own home. The more you travel the more restless it makes you feel sometime. But still. I'm happy to have my little blogg and enjoy the people that pass by and leave nice comments (thank you Marjolein). Its a good thing Nyana is a patient gall and that I guard that 1.5 free days we have together like a lion. If i woudn't do that , there would be nothing left at all. I would end up drowning in my olwn enthousiasm and getting burried in stuff to do . Everytime spring comes I have this same restless feeling. The call of the Hedon. I wrote a poem about that once . The anthem of my soul. I'll post it when i get the chance. ( VPN's home , acces personal files , transfer file, open with neooffice , copy paste.. damn , this mobile setup is REALY kickin ass !) Here ya go…

The call of the hedon.

Silence surrounds me like a silver cloak.
Thoughts roam like feathers in the storm.
Time glides like lava trough snow.
Truth eludes me like boiling vapour.

All I feel inside is the quest.
For the unknown destination,
For an unknown reason,
With an unknown concequence.

All I know is that I seek.
Unknown for what or where or why
Perhaps I chase the untouchable
Reach for the point beond the line.

Restless am I who never sleeps.
Never sits down , never at ease.
With one foot pointing at the door.
Although I don’t know where I’m going next.

Always the visitor , never the host..
Always the traveler and never the guest.
Always the searcher , but yet never found.
Always the mistery , never the truth.

I do not know what calls in my heart
Only that it’s the scream of the hedon
Restlesly dancing on the song of time.
Always a spec beyond the horizon.

I reach for the answers.
To end an endless quest .
But am afraid to find them one day.
For where shall I be then … and where must i stay.

Peace out !

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