Ow Yeey :) Breakdown day !

ok , haven't updated in a few days , Things are going a bit pearshaped. First of all : Catastrophy day : Laptop/webcam/ipod busted all in one night Second : Lots to do ! school/buizz/teaching classes (aarg) Third : Did a lott of posts on my Ipod (the first audio bloggs where coming) then : Ipod broke , no means to transfer them onto the pc / website (mega-aarg). Ironicly the add ons I ordered for my ipod came in the same day i had to ship my ipod out :§. Leaves me frustrated. Cut off from the Podcast/blogg world and stuck with music/radio in the car (am not enjoying this). Enough bitching allready. did have a great weekend. Mett up with some cool people and am starting to realise just how much the social community around me is shifting. It will be a very different birthdayparty next year, i'm guessing. Meanwhile, new years eve is coming closer. Still no plans to celebrate with friends/family. And don't realy know if that is what I want. I'm just not looking forward to getting stuck in some dull restaurant, paying god knows what to sit around with your leggs under the table all night and be boared to bitts. I think the whole new year crap is exagarated to much anyway. Starting november i get all stressed up by the whole thing. Organising it, running around getting people to tag along , have people cancel etc etc. Hate that mucho big time !. Same with Xmass :(. Ok , i have gotten towards the point where i can stand a christmass TREE ,but the whole xmass shopping shit is giving me a major headache allreaddy. I'm not really a holiday season kinda guy. Much to stressy for my taste ! Enough Babble , Mac sent an EMPTY BOX to my house to put my Ipod in so i can return it to the factory. Instead of picking it up right away they'll swing by AGAIN tomorrow to pick it up. Duh-huh .

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The truth is a lie with a poor sence of imagination.

Hmm, just found the cutest thing on line. I used to have a blog at livejournal remember ? Well , they have this little News Feed you can check into (its also on a webpage) that has every blogg on it that was recently posted. Its a tapestry of entry’s from various bloggers and.. When you start to read trough it it’s like listening to the whispers of the cyber world. Amazing, addictive too 🙂 So many voices, so many thoughts, so many feelings. A complete freedom of the mind in the realm of cyberspace. This is truly something to marvel at sometime. And perhaps half of it is useless banter, it’s still important enough for those people to write it down. And who says your words are so important. Every one of us puts his on values in his own thoughts and into those of the others. As I stand amidst the rolling cloud of cyberspace I cannot but stop and wonder in awe at the fantastic things that happen there every day. Always on the brink of yet another revolution. Check it out http://www.livejournal.com/stats/latest.bml A little taste: How's this for random quotes:”I felt the dagger sink into my back. I could feel the warm blood trickle down my cold back, dripping to the ground. I stood there in shock, almost wanting to know why he had done this to me. The cold seeped into my bones as he stared into my eyes. I saw no emotion on his cold face. How could he do this to me? It was I who helped him when he needed it the most, I who tended to his wounds, and I who gave him shelter when he had none. Now he had betrayed me. I looked into his blue eyes, as cold as ice, and saw nothing." by imouto_ko.

Outside the rain is pouring down. The world looks like its gonna double over on itself and crawl in a corner like a wet blanket. A lot of work awaits me when I get home although I wish a good book, a nice cd and a hot cup of cappuccino would be there instead. Just sit in my favorite Cafe for a bit, watch the people get wet outside. Wouldn't that be nice?

One of my co-workers came up to me yesterday, looked at me and said: "You're a Geek!" … YEEEY! I'm a GEEK! To those oblivious to what a GEEK is, a GEEK is kind of a technocrat who lives his life surrounded by the coolest gadgets and who finds a way of incorporating them into his everyday life. It’s easier to mug a geek using an EMP-gun then a switchblade. So what! I’m a geek and I’m proud of it. Living at technologies cutting edge and handling the gizmo’s as if they where the most normal thing in the world IS my thing. It’s like walking into a tribe of bush people with a mirror sometimes. But still. It’s cool when you're blasé about it. Yesterday Nyana hiked up to her house with her own laptop. I mean YEAY !!! When your GF pads around with her own PC cause she likes it .. It’s damn sexy! Geekdom rocks :).

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When you put your reflection in front of the mirror.. who is who ?

The autumn outside is slowly giving way. Every fiber in my body senses the growing defeat of falling leaves against the rising up March of the steel swords of winter. As I drove home yesterday evening it pleased me to have another wonderful cd in the player. The ones among you who only know VANGELIS from all time hits like Pulstar and Chariots of Fire are surely missing out something when they have never heard his recent albums. As the dark clouds closed the canopy above me and taillights pierced the murky darkness I crawled deep into my bubble of steel and floated trough the world on the tones of ' EL GRECO ' This cd filled with dark and gloomy tracks wrapped its sounds around me like a warm blanket. As drivers beside me ate up their steering wheels in frustrations I let my mind and thoughts be engulfed by the powerful sounds of Monserat Caballe and the Instrumental virtuoso Himself (Vangelis Pappadoplous). To write about music is like painting an apple. No matter how good you can describe it, there is no way you can taste it. But it was wonderful. Somehow driving makes me very relaxed and with the right music I am engulfed in the world of my own thoughts and feelings for that secluded time when I am driving home. Ever since I started working on this side of the country I have had calmness settle over me in the mornings. In the darkness of the dawning globe, I can let my feelings, impressions, emotions and idea's flow freely. As if life is a chessboard I pick up the peaces of my everyday life and roll them over in my hands, try to see them from every angle and decide where to move them next. Perhaps it is the coming of age; perhaps it is the time of the year. But somehow I feel that, looking back to the turbulent months that lay behind me, I have changed. I have always been this ever-changing chameleon, never quite the same in two places but still. How great is the difference once again. Those who knew me then and there would be surprised to see me here. And I? I find peace with it all because I know I am true to myself no matter who I may appear to be. Life is a shifting duality of shadow and light. And although those close to me think they know me. I can only give them a mysterious smile and think 'you don't have a clue yet…’

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Where eternity ends.. infinity begins.

The end of the week is slowly drawing closer and a little smile creeps up the corner of my mouth. Somehow I feel all giddy inside just thinking of the fun stuff that once again awaits me. Well, fun stuff might be a big word. I immensely enjoy the simple things, just being around Nyana, spending time together is pure Bliss but when I look at the unexpected ways events have turned out over the last weekend, I cannot help but wonder if its gonna be just as spectacular this time around. The weekend appears to be a completely different part of my life sometimes. During the week Nyana and me work hard and put a lot of effort and energy into our job and the company. But in the weekend its. *Poof*. When I look at the way we live these days I think we can call ourselves very lucky. I mean, most couples our age sit at home with the kids all weekend (and occasionally go to the movies, or to family or something'), don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. But it would not be 'our thing'. As I wrote a few posts ago: The fun is only just beginning in our life. With no one to look out for but each other and our cat. To each his own truth but I think, for now we can find true happiness in this lifestyle. It’s amazing but sometimes it feels like me and Nyana have only been together for a few weeks. Here is this great girl I get to go out with and have fun with. Little old me gets a night on the town with someone who is not only the love of my life but also my big fun-buddy. 5000 inside jokes, quick repartee’s and spicy comments fly trough the air and not only do I feel completely at ease with her, I also have a blast with her whenever we go out. I should count my lucky stars (and I do) for the good life I lead. Onto the weekend, filled with exiting stories and adventures it is!!!!

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Random poetry

Why is it that when silence is closest to me, my thoughts drift off like snow in the wind
Towards fields of placid sorrow in melancholic smiles. Safe is how I feel with its velvet cloack draped around me. And yett… Silence and sorrow go hand in hand and if the pool of tranquility resides amids the dying willows then happyness is the illusion of sound. Or is sadness the echo of silence.

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Millions of ants and network problems.

Whoa, remember those days when everything goes wrong? Well, I had one of those yesterday night. Damn damn damn ! I not only had a ton of work to do for the company, I also had some paperwork lying around I need to check up on (I am very bad at paperwork) Well, halfway trough the work the entire network went pear shaped on me and before I knew what was happening the knights castle was off line for more then two hours straight. Cursing, fuming and on the edge of killing a hamster with my bear hands I had to reprogram my router, go look for the flaw in the scenario and get all worked up that I STILL had a ton of things to do while I was spending my scarce free time having to repair a basic but essential problem in my network. Damn! I hate it when those things go wrong. When I had only reconnected the Internet connection my server decided it was time to bail out and IT went off line. GRRR! A few words, the flick of a power button and threatening with a good kick fixed THAT too. It makes me smile when I notice that me and Nyana managed to survive without warm water for two weeks straight, but are at a complete loss when the broadband connection goes down. No warm water: relax, chill, we will manage. No Internet connection: Panic, Mayhem, and Stress etc. We must be weird people :p. Oh yes, while working I DID get a chance to see a movie I got from Emule. It’s about 30 years old and I saw it as a little kid once (barely remembering it). The only thing that stuck to mind was the title: Phase 4, about an army of super intelligent ants taking over the world. Classic B movie? Well not really, it does have a good story to it. I honestly enjoyed it, cause it was the 'German dubbed' version I found. It took my back to the days when we where used to watching German TV, with all their dubbed movies and TV shows. As the language somehow comes naturally to me I didn't even notice until I was ten minutes into the movie. Well, me and B movies… you know. We have chemistry!

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Social life.net ?

Do i have a social life ? Well , you can say that i do. I even have a busy one. Got online yesterday evening at about 6 PM and ended up chatting the evening away untill nine o'clock. There was some 'social chattin' going on , but also the use of MSN as a communicational tool. I mean , i make appointments regarding school etc over MSN, Make buisiness appointments and chat up with friends that i have not seen for a while. Coming to think of it the Internet is becoming more and more the centerpeace of not only the communication tools in my life , its becoming the pinnacle of my social interaction aswell. Had the nicest conversation with Davy last sunday as he gave me the example that a friend of him didn't think it was appropriate for people to know he mett his girlfriend over the internet (because he had an inmportant job position). Hmm Amazing how the 'internet' still has this image problem. 'only freaks and sad cases can be found on line ' people say. And perhaps those are the prominent cyber citizens of today .. but these days EVERYONE is on line. I mean , does that makes us ALL sad cases ? Is the statement : "Everybode you meet on line is a freak/geak/pervert, exept me of course ? " Strange how people still feel the need to categorize. Where DO you meet decent people then. Tell me ? In a bar ? one could say NO , cause that's where all the slutts are. In a Library ? No , cause thats where all the geeks hang out. I can go on for a while stating examples and the prejudged phrases that can be stuck to it. People are people , no matter where you meet them. I have a ton of friends I've mett on line and there all nice social (ok , sometimes a bit wierd) people. Haven't met a secret bunny-rumping pervert yett. Strange strange. People want to put evertything in cubicles so they can classify the chaos they call their reality. Ps : if you don't agree … Post a comment , share your thoughts , Do your thing.

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The Strangest Party's.

Yeey ! Thanx to the holiday of november 11th we had a four day weekend (big time) that i truely enjoyed. Allthough I have hardly recovered (lack of sleep etc) it was way fun. Wen't shopping in Maastricht on thursday cause we where all out of food and all the shops in .be where closed. Loved it ! brought home some cool exotic things like peanut butter etc that you can only buy in the dutch shops. So i'm stacked up for the week with nice cool food-ies :). Did a wee bit of wa walk in Maastricht a bit later on and went looking for some of my I-pod accesories (unfindable) but gave up not to much later. After we got home in the afternoon we started cleaning up (i seriously took some junk out that was still stored in our basement) and lounged out before the TV. Hiked up to Aachen on friday to go looking for our new digital camera (the old one is for sale , just so you know) and did a good bargain. So the next pix will be by our Nikon Coolpix 4200 , can't wait to try her out 🙂 . After we got home i had some work to do for the company and Nyana bunked in the sofa in my office. With the TV on and both working on our laptops we had a real cozy time and i got some work done. When we thought we where gonna turn in early we got an invitation from some friends to go for a late night drink. So 2 hours later we where standing in a Cafe in Hasselt with karaoke night in full swing ( i thought about singing some sinatra tunes , but the crowd was so young in decided agianst it) The evening went from strange to weird when i found mysellf sitting in a bar together with our 'amigo's accompanied by a philipino woman (that had to much to drink) , a finalist from the IDOL 2003 contest , the folks we mett up with and of course the illustrious miss bamby ( a well known transvestite ) As conversations moved from topic to topic i smiled and imagined i was having the most unexpected evening in a long time. Needless to say we had a good time and crashed in our bedds at 4 30 Am. Had to get up at eight again to do some more work and see some clients while Nyana took care of the cleaning (bless her). In the evening we wen't of to dinner with friends and had a way good time. Had my birthday party on sunday (thanx everyone for attending) and was strangely surprised by the turnout. People who I thought would come and who I expected would not where not exactly as i had expected it. A strange but pleasant surprise. (allthought it made me realise the focus of my social life appears to be shifting). As allways mixing friends and family together in one room is allways fun and we had a big laugh. Thanx to Nyana for making the afternoon go perfectly as she made magic in the kitchen and did all the work.

The roundup ? Well: These are the strangest partys. There are still some 'steady values' in my social life. People i see, things we do.. and yett , these last weeks it is all shifting in what turns out to be a wonderfully unpredictible landscape of people and places. I sometimes stop , look around and think by mysellf : I did not think i was gonna do THIS last friday ! But i like the unexpected. Somehow there is more 'p-Zazz" in my life right now. Things that have allways been, the way social relationships are built up and stuff are shifting and changing and it brings along this strange sometimes surreal enviroment. When you try to tell someone where you've been and what you've done the last weekend you get these blank stares like ' How the HELL did you get THERE ' and THATS the stuff that makes me smile.

The one line that went trough my head a thousand times these last days is ' IDIC ' Idic is a vulcan term (star trek sci fi ) that stands for Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. Meaning that everyone is different , has different lifestyles and that this diversity is something we must accept and even celebrate because it it the one richness in our universe.

We've seen things that would make people wonder , frown , or even shock them.. and then again one can think : Everybody is different and 'normal' is a proprietary term exclusive to only yoursellf. Everybody is different , but in the end we are all 'people' and it is in this diversity we can find the true wonder of life. Pretty deep huh. But still 🙂 I would prefer diversity over blandness and predictability everyday. And i seem to get my wish.

At thirty i'm looking at the world with a sence of wonder, with an intense feeling of joy and happyness because I have truely found Love with Nyana. And when other people are beginning to settle down… We are only just beginning to explore. Kidds ? Staying home watching TV ? "settling down" … I laugh when i hear it ( So does Nyana) The thing we both feel right now is .. The base is solid, the bounds are tight , the camp is good. We are only BEGINNING to explore the world. As people become more narrow minded as they age , clinging to their convictions.. I am only beginning to broaden them..

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The great conspiracy.

Whoow. What a week. Just noticed my last blogg update is a bit messy and quite frankly so is my life right now. Problem is I’m trying to tell to much at onceand am trying to get it all said so I can slow down and rant my thoughts out.Urrg ! No matter. Lots to be done this weekend. A extended weekend my ass, have a
ton of work for my own company to do and me and Nyana are gonna TRY to get to Antwerp for a little city trip. I wonder if it will work. Got my birthday partynext Sunday so we are gonna have to get the house in ship shape. Who said it wasgonna be quiet. Meanwhile I’m getting my stuff organized to do some extra items on the website (audio blogg and stuff) and STILL have NOT had time to really playaround with the cute mixing board Nyana bought me for my birthday (bless thehoney). Hmm : A quick topic for this blogg : Well : let met choose 'the great conspiracy'. Its been in the air for a few months now but these last weeks i have felt that its 'omnipresent'. The great conspiracy to get me back in music. As you know I was a DJ with DYSC a few years ago , and back then ( from when I was 18 up to when I was about 24 ) music was a great part of my life. Playing music, and later on combining music and computers when i started making our own intro's and Jingles to party's where we played. I even teamed up with JAR JAR (Bart Graulus) to 'make' music and we played in the KAtsu and on a concert somewhere in Borgloon. It was really cool to do , but we didn't have much free time so things cooled down and unfortunately we lost touch (Bart, if you are reading this , Ping me sometime) . The absolute low came last year when i sold my mixing board and cd players cause they where literally just lying around (and i had not used them in months). So i've been out of the bizz for quite some time.But somehow all this is changing. Well first of there is the house of course, now i finally have the space to set up some gear instead of my small office in Rijkhoven.Secondly I am currently moving ALL our music cd's to MP3 , cause the shelves in the living room just can't take the pressure. Its been a lot of work , but it gave me the chance to go trough my music collection again and to finally make it digital so i can put it on my Ipod , or play it when i'm at the computer.
And there is of course my new line of work where i get to sit at a desk all day long so i have enough time to listen to music while i work. And i'm in the car for 2 hours a day, so there is a lot of time to listen to 'audio information', music , news etc…
But the big triggers are yet to come. Nyana bought me the coolest gift for my birthday (remind me to do an article on it someday). The Hercules DJ Console where i can MIX my MP3's and pitch them up and stuff. Whohoo ! Ok , its no numark MX 1800 (bless you my beloved black mix table) but its ex-actly what i need.
Add to that the concert of DJ Tiësto last weekend and its suffice to say : I'm lost !. I'm pretty mad at myself having let go of my 'musical passion" these last years , but school and my career took up a lot of time. Now i hope i have more time (and need) to be 'creative' with music again.

Now the scene is set, and we come to the possibilities this entire multimedia revolution in my life is gonna give me.

First up : I don't have much time to write anymore. I'm on the road for two hours everyday and have a lot of time to myself. But I can't spend it reading or writing on my blogg and stuff. Yet i have time to kill , so its filled up with listening to music , Audio books and audio bloggs i downloaded from the internet. (audiobloggs are spoken bloggs, transmitted via what we call PODDCASTS). Hence my idea. What if i used that time to 'speak' my blogg, like , make a little radio show out of it , all you need is a mike and a recorder (i can record on my ipod). So there was a food for thought and a possibility has been born , so hang on for more 'spoken bloggs' instead of written ones. Its a concept that is not very strange to me because i used to work as a radio DJ.. So its basically my own talkshow that i'm doing. And where there is speech there is music , so i can mix together some tunes , build some jingles and stuff. Just being creative on an whole other level. And with podcasting i get to download other people's audio-bloggs full of IT goodies and stuff and listen to them while i'm in the car.

As you can see , the limited time i have makes me shift gears as it comes to handling information in my life. I rarely watch tv but let the PC at home boot up and record all my favorite shows. Cause i'm not home to watch them i encode the streams and put them on my pda so i can watch them anywhere. I don’t have time to read up on my websites so i use an RSS news-stream reader to give me the headlines of the important sites and push them to my pc instead of surfing around. When i'm in the car or on the road i have audio bloggs and Ebooks to listen to instead of reading them on line. Basically i'm adapting to more off line time in my life , but still try to keep up with the 'buzz'. I'm even planning on using video to make articles on the site instead of writing them out. And also.. there is a lot of creative energy to be spent there.

The dawn of the third decennium has brought upon me the dawn of the digital media age i guess.

Well what do ya know , i've had time to update my blogg.

Greetz everyone, stay tuned !.

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Meditations at warp nine.

So little time and yet so much has happened. Like lightning the shades of my life have turned around once more and i find mysellf awakening in a different chapter in my book of life. Changes are always strange and it is yet it are those very changes that tell one that one still lives. But as i look at the path that my career will take me now, Changes will be part of everyday life, and adapting to these changing situation will become a skill that i must make my own.

Changing the lanes of my career.

As for the roundup. Well , after the interview with the consulting company in Leuven (see previous post) i had to wait a few days before the phone rang. As i was getting worried about finding a new job (needlessly) the phone rang and my new "boss to be" called me up if i was interested in starting.. THE NEXT DAY. So it became a bit of a race to get everyting organised and ready for yet another turnover. All the promises i made mysellf (when i'm out of a job i'm gonna study, relax a little bit, enjoy the silence etc) where out the window (once again) and i came to the shuddering conclusion that i just cant sit still. No matter. 3 days later i was of to a big company in Turnhout for a conculting assignment (field engeneer) and had a great time. Where only a few weeks earlyer i was getting chewed out by the old boss-man and thought where the hell this was going, now i found mysellf suited up in a company car racing towards unknown horizons. And at those very moments, amids the amber rays of the setting sun, with music on the background and the silent purr of the car as it takes me to yet another adventure… Victory does taste sweet. Those who know what happened after i left my old company know what i mean. Those who don't.. It does not matter. As it is with wine : the best information and events , the greatest gossip where to be found in the bottom of the glass and I only know appreciate its delicate taste. For I have not had a hand in these events but only saw the inevitable take place. Cosmic justice ? perhaps… I miss the ones that where dear to me back there. But I am the Hedon and as the autumn calls i must spread my wings and fly on.

 

Celebrate the love.
Meanwhile i have come to my favourite part of the year. The autumn is now in full bloom. Fog slides over the ground and the leaves set the dying trees alight with shades of red and gold. The graves lie littered with flowers and the crows rasp their song. Today me and Nyana are celebrating that we've been together for eight years. Incredible as it may seem we are still growing stronger and closer together each day. Somebody once asked me why Saskia was the woman of my life. Well ,probably because she's the only girl that is not impressed with the 'roles i play' but with the boy thats trapped behind the mask. She is probably the one single person in the world that truely knows me and she is the one girl in the world i truely love.

The age of sound.
With my new job i find mysellf in the car for allmost three hours a day. With all kinds of music on the background i realise i have a great amount of time just to think things through. These "meditations at warp nine" as i call them are a concept quite new to me. I have time to wonder about the things that go on in my life and must somehow find a way to keep mysellf 'occupied' during these long drives. This brings me to the age of sound. More and more music takes up an important role in my life once again. Not only did Saskia buy me the coolest DJ mixing panel for my birthday (thank you my love), but I also have a lot more time to listen. While i normaly spend my free time behind a computerscreen or in a good book (the age of light) i now find that i must focus my leasures on SOUNDS. Audiobooks, music , talkshows on the radio, you name it .. At work I 'fly a desk' so have about 8 hours a day to listen to music while i'm working. A whole new world of music, on and off line radiostations and so on are opening up to me. This weekend i'll be diggin up my Ipod to get more tunes on the little white baby

And hereby i close the second decennium of my life. I've been in my twenties till now but from tomorrow i am no more.

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