Morning Thoughts for Valentine.

Feb 14

Morning Thoughts. Once again darkness surrounds me. In the silence of dawn only the slight rapping of my fingers over the black keyboard disturbs the murmurs of a waking world. I look around me and hope to find something to hold on to. Some stability in a life that is to divers complex and dramatic .. a soap opera writer would be happy for months to come. Whenever i try to subside the ripples in my pond yet another waterfall seems to whirl its way toward me. As dark water dances in the deep I think of the monsters beneath the surface. Blackened clouds of uncertainty that have tainted my mare tranquilatis in shades of gray for the last few months. Never do I seem to know when they will rear there ugly heads above the mirrored surface nor do I know if these dragons bring fame or failure.

Perhaps the one thing I have learned is that happiness is not something acquired by default. It is something that one must look for. Must treasure and must appreciate. Sweet are our moments of love and laughter. Cherished and loved are the memories of joy throughout times of despair. But that my friends is what life is all about. Finding flowers in the storm, delicate, beautiful, rare and precious. One must venture out into the world and embrace the howling wind in order to smell the flowers. One must never hide nor stand down to trade the challenges of life for a dull gray existence somewhere in a hole in the ground. Shunning from danger and from life itself.

I could raise my hands towards the icy sky and howl why me ? Why us ? But then again. The higher the waves of life's ocean .. The wilder the ride .. The deeper the sorrow .. The higher the joy. Everything is relative and … Before I wish upon a star that I would just like to have a normal life for a change… I shudder even more at the colorless drab existence then at the raging river our lives path has become.

So I gear up to face my dragons… My enemies.. My challenges and my kin. My sword rises valiantly into the misty dawn and once again I'm ready for another day. If one feels what one can lose.. One cherishes what one has. If one can feel the cold howling wind of sadness only then one can feel the warm fire of true love.

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