"Moore" then meets the Eye.

May 12

With the whole Transformers movie coming out and everybody praising mr Michael Moore for his work as a director I thought it was time to kick the Tardis and go back in time. When I was a kid, I had the privilege of living next door to an American family with a kid who LOVED Transformers. Not only did his room look like it had just collided head on with Cybertron itself , he also had a great collection of Transformers comics that never ever made it to the European mainland. Some of these where just brilliant pocket-comics, other where regular on-the-shelf stuff ( awesome stuff too) The quality of the print and the paper was flimsy and sometimes you had to really make an effort to read the little print or scoop through the pictures to make out who was who. But all in all the stories where fabulous.


But what I even liked more where the "charactar bio's" that were printed halfway through the comic. These gave you more insight into the Transformers that you owned.. Things probably dreamed up by some intern who would get a better salary working at Pizza Hut, they offered extra sparks to the fire of your imagination. And you can bet your Blaster on the fact that you would be giving that strange character twist to your favorite toy next time you played with it. Although it would feel very old having your little Ratchet toy tell all the other Autobots that he liked to party .. and where was the next party .. and how long before we party and stuff like that , you still did it .. Hey, It was in his BIO section so it HAD to be true, right ?

Diving into the big box of "stuff from the past" i came across this one. I popped it on the scanner to let you guys in on the great character that is "Octane". Not fitting the bill of transforming into a "weapon", ( Octane is a sluggish tanker or a flimsy jet.. and a rather gay looking robot with a hairdo that would put Prince to shame) he does "hold the juice" for his fellow Decepticons.  A visit to the shrink tells us that Octane LOVES to let his fellow "cons" beg for fuel before giving them any. Wow . Don't you just love a guy like that. A real scrooge when it comes to dealing out the drops. Werther or not he gets hit in the face when that fellow Decepticon has been refueled, is not mentioned in the article of course.

There is even more. His free time is filled with running cars of the highway and diverting planes. Now what kind of hobby is that ? Even the "cons" and me agreed on this that this was a rather stupid way to waste ones time. Me and Shockwave were hanging out at the bar one day when Octane came by. We remarked his weird hobby as a waste of time, and I even suggested collecting stamps when Mr Octane got all wound up and started threatening to let us run dry next time we needed fuel. When I mentioned I was a human an could go to Burger King any time I wanted.. He vowed to trample me instead.  " Then how about me kicking you in the belly next time you roll by as a truck huh ! " I replied chivalrously. ( Holding his bio in my hand and reading through the "weak-spot" section). That caused him to totally flip out . (he began yelling stuff about humans and death and goo and stuff).. He transformed into a plane and tried to make a gracious exit. Well .. tried to .. cause the Decepticon booze hole has standard doors and is by no means suitable for horizontal takeoff.  The result where a lot of angry Decepticons , a ton of broken glass and overturned tables. Not to mention a bar bill all the way up to Cybertron Before I went to bed that night I updated Octanes bio by adding the lines that he can be extremely clumsy when drunk ! There is truelly more to Octane then meets the eye.


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