Being a geek is not that bad. Its a good thing come to think of it. You’re into tech and gadgets, and you are kind of a Sci Fi Cult fan. Calling people " Nerfherders " and mumbling " Awanawanga* " before closing an Ebay deal .. stuff like that. Normally a geek has a non-geek wife. (well some geeks have imaginary girlfriends or have cybersex
with guys called Dana in Zimbabwe) These non-geek life partners tend to
"tether" the geek to reality. Their tasks consist of putting a spending
cap on the excessive geek budget (nobody needs a full-automatic NERF
gun in EVERY room) and otherwise "grounding" our Geek of the house to
reality. This by giving them ‘the stare’ when they act too nerdy and
sighing incomprehensibly when the geek tries to explain some sci fi like inside joke. This keeps Geeks from splashing out on fancy toys and totaly floating away from reality. Situations where the geek goes to the coffee shop, orders a ractagino*** and demands to speak to the Klingon High council when they tell him it’s unavailable.. are rare.
I have no such luck. Being a geek is one thing, having a geek WIFE is another. No anti-Starwars anti-geekness factor to hold me down. No, I am left with a lovely wife who has the smitten’s for David Tennant ( dr Who), went in an all out tantrum when I explained to her what ‘regeneration’ meant for a Timelord, and that recently enquired where we could order a full size Dalek to put in our living room. Yes ! I have a geek-wife.
When a fat girl walks down the street, she mumbles ‘ Dey Jabba no Babba*’ in my ear (gently suggesting that this girls hipps might be out of proportion).
looking for an inscription for our wedding rings we decided it would be
a good idea to use the inscriptions "one of two" and "two of two" in
our rings, pointing out that our love is like a Borg hive where one
cannot exist without the other.
This girl made me (willingly) sit through 5 straight episodes of Battlestar Galactica because she was instantly in love with the series and wanted to "see just ONE more episode". This lady hogs her Macbook like its an unborn child, she hungrily eyes my Macbook Pro when i’m not watching. She offered to BUY ME A MACBOOK PRO this year just so she can have mine. This babe walks into the apple stores ahead of me to look around. She browses through DVD’s of sci-fi series and repeatedly changes her wallpaper between David Tennant and Tricia Helfer.
Once waxing romantically about "how we would do our wedding, if we
could do it all over again" she mentioned it would be cool to be
escorted by six Cybermen and two Daleks when walking into the church. Bridesmaids are overrated, Cybermen and Daleks, THAT"s what she wanted. Cellphones ? We argue about the best Cellphone OS : Windows Mobile or Java. Movies ? if its sci-fi or a B-movie you need a Mandalorian battle armour**** to get the remote off her. Star trek ? She’s a DS9 fan in heart and kidneys and cannot fathom watching a TOS episode.
This is the girl that said it would be a good idea to have our 24 inch Imac on the kitchen table. Who wonders if we could place the "remade model" of the Millenium Falcon in our living room. This is the girl that thinks Vista is for noobs
and if it ain’t a Mac she"s not going anywhere near it. But what do you
expect ? She comes from a hard line of early adopting geeks. Dad in
law ? Bought the first Pentium available in Belgium , has about 20
laptops or something. Mom in law ? Programs 4 VCR"s and has only
recently been satisfied with a 180 gig harddrive
recorder. This family toggles remotes and tech like utensils and has
zero fear of new technology. Did I mention her 82 year old GRANDMA is
sporting an asus EEEpc
and a Compaq laptop, both running Linux (she has even been featured in
the Full Circle Magazine twice). So as you can see : I am a troubled
man 🙂 A request for doing the dishes is mockingly followed up with a Dalek impersonation of "OBEY". The line " Klaatu Berrata Nikto"
means ‘cut it out’ in our house. Whistling the five tones from "Close
encounters" gets you a poke in the ribbs (She hated that movie) A tiny
disruption of our internet
connection leads to social and sensory deprivation. Disconnection from
our wireless network means love-trouble etc … Needless to say : " jIH muSHa’ Daj Daq Hegh !! *****"
* Hutteese for : "Let’s make a deal, lets go"
** Hutteese for : "Jabba is not going to go along in this deal"
*** Klingon Coffee.
**** The one Boba Fett wears.
***** I love her to pieces.