Just a quicky on my Ibook, cause its been much to long since i had a chance to update. Life is a hectic non-stop string of events these days and I find myself frustrated and angry most of the time while rushing from one appointment to another. Its a mixture of anger at myself cause i'm so bad a saying NO, frustration over the fact that i don't get to do the things i want to do or should do (priority's all jumbled over) and disappointment at how some people treat you , even after you pull them from the mess they made themselves. Its like i am becoming this 'commodity' , this 'service' people think they can call upon whenever they please. Now let me just point out i'm NOT talking about friends and clients here. For friends i'm glad to be there, for clients i'm supposed to be there. But its mostly the 'freebies' that tick me off. I've been spending the last 2 weeks rushing between appointments for my family. I've been offering a helping hand in the shop, driving my dad to hospital, fixing up my brothers adsl connection, making a video for my cousine and so on. And it just never ends. What makes me mad is that these people just start taking me for granted. For example, I help out in the shop on Saturday morning so my brother can sleep in because he had to work late Friday night. We agree that it's till eleven o'clock (gives me a chance to go fetch some stuff at a clients place). At eleven I have to call him to check something (he's up and awake) but he doesn't come down until twelve o'clock. Totally jumbling up my plans. This is the kind of 'taken for granted' i mean. It pisses me off beyond belief. The arrogance that i might be some kind of personal slave who will work for you while you have the luxury of an long and good breakfast. I mean COME ON !!! I've been out that same Friday till four o'clock , and I got up early , (did NOT have breakfast) just to help him out. DAMN ! That is what pisses me off. I can drag up a few more examples but I'm not gonna do that. The thing is i'm frustrated that i have such a hard time saying NO to these people who, afterwards, treat me like shit anyway. Family is a burden my friends ! (at least i think so). But I should be more mad at me. For these last three years i have had a hard time getting some personal time. I have for example been planning to take myself out for a cup of coffee for about…. 3 weeks !!!!! Three whole weeks I have been planning to go out for a coffee with my Ibook, sitting down and having ONE freaking Cappuccino. Always something has come up. Or perhaps i LET it come up ( I can't sit down by myself and enjoy some down time without feeling guilty). I think I should be more assertive. Because all this shit is starting to influence our relationship. This week, me and Saskia had ONE HOUR to lie down on the couch in each others arms. And that is it for FIVE FUCKING DAYS ! Yesterday i squandered my ENTIRE evening making a video for my cousin and went straight to bed. From when i got home to when i went to bed i was the willing slave of my family. Waaw ,just great. But i'm on a rant here. Lets not get carried away. But its true. When you are rich , everybody wants a peace of you, when you are famous , everybody wants a peace of you , and when you have skills , everybody wants a peace of you. I'm down with that cause I make a living out of that skill. But what bothers me is that people start taking you for granted. (for example : freebies) The one thing that ticks me off is that they expect you to do stuff for them, go OUT of your way to get it done and meanwhile THEY are relaxing and being all relaxed and lazy about the whole thing. Damn I can just about TAKE OFF with pissed-ness . (BIIIIIGGG SIGH… RELAXXXXXXXX) .. There , thats better. Time for martial law in my agenda. No more mr Nice guy , Clients come first, freebies dissipate into oblivion.
In other news me and my ibook have become the best of friends. Along with the new mailserver at the Knightscastle (thank you Tuke) it has become the one major lifeline to home in these overly-mobile days. I love the white little one because you don't need to boot it up , just open the lid and tadaaaaa. You can start working right away. Sure there is about a ton of MAC-knowledge i have to learn, but for now the little baby does just what is has to do. It gives me a place to WORK. The new backpack I got (teeny-weeny Hedgren backpack , that lets me store my ibook along with the bare essentials) is becoming this 'standard bubble' on my back (and the steady companion where-ever I go) Been working on my 'mobile suitcase' an extra sportsbag to drag around in the car filled with more mobile equipment (books, hub, power cords, access point, mobile hard disk etc) I've had this setup before ( back when i was working for the ictopus project) and it was like a mobile-support-lab to carry around wherever i go. .. Isn't it strange that the more mobility i have in my life.. the more i crave to just be .. home ?
Continued on the road (where else).
I find myself amazed at the fact there is a Wifi Hotspot at my local hiardressers. Unfortunately its not free , you have to be a telenet client to use it or be a student at the PHL (i'm neither) So no free wifi 🙁 .. Damn , cant wait for the wifi-project that they are rolling out in Hasselt) Even the local Cafe across the street has been connected , but i just don't have a login (damn:§) But this makes living in Hasselt a whole lot easier. Come to think of it , what good is a mobile lifestyle if you don't have a permanent connection to the internet. I mean , using your computer off-line is pretty lame , isn't it ? But still. In other news : I have a new crave. I'm absolutely wild about bloggs. Livejournal has this page where in chronologicly posts every latest entry of bloggs posted on their servers. So you get this big palet of snippets of people's lives (one blogg entry for each blogg) and you get to peer into people's lives. Isn't that just great ? I just love reading trough the page and finding interesting pictures people posted or looking at what people are saying. Its quite addictive stuff :).