When they do remakes.. it often sucks. When they try to re-enact a classic series , it often sucks. When they go 'bigger better faster' it always sucks. Well, not always. I watched part of the pilot episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series yesterday. And it did not suck. As a matter of fact I was pleasantly surprised to see the way new series was handled. There have been a lot of changes made and sometimes you would not recognize some of the 'original characters' but.. Its very interesting to see how they are telling the same story , only differently. I'm halfway trough the pilot ep. and can't wait to see it through. For those of you who are interested you can download the episode here http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/ and check out who is doing a hidden cameo : http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/characters/

So, to say in my best Capricaneese : 'Just wait a Centon with all that Fendergarb : I'm on Fracking Ferlon !'

In other news, had a great time talking to my friend Karien yesterday. Chatted away on MSN about all kinds a stuff and .. it made me feel good inside to know what good friends I have out there. Even if we don't see each other for a while and things look like they are cooling off, its never true and we are still close. Friends are a blessing (family more like a curse these days) . Don't worry. I'm not going to go on another rant. But sometimes I notice how good people know me. For example , whenever i'm down or am having a hard time.. Saskia knows just what to do and how to handle me. Its an incredibly subtle approach to the situation. Something you can only do if you know the other trough and trough. I was once again marveled by her yesterday.. The way she knows me .. Same for my closest friends ( my own-chosen family) they see beyond my bravoure and beyond the shields that cover my true feelings. The wals trough and gently lower my defenses. They know me all to well. I'm glad to have them. When you are good at deceiving everyone whenever its needed. Sometimes you need people who see right into the true core of your soul. Only a few hold that key and I must say : Its an honor to know them.

As Babylon burns on I’m going to have to face some of my fears and deal with the phantoms that hunt my dreams. Sometimes my emotions play a 'Freddy Kruger' on me. As long as i stay busy, I’m fine.. when I sit down and relax.. they catch up with me. My own little Nightmare on MaastrichterStreet.. I am after all a cult lover :).

Wonderful day today. Sometimes you need to take a day of and just let stuff be stuff. Well I'm not THAT relaxed cause i have a lot to do today. But still , its a welcome break from daily affairs. With all the 'march-ial law' that is in effect these day's I am very aware how I spend my time. I'm trying to divide every thing in what i MUST do , what i SHOULD do and what I CAN do. And so far its enlightening to see how it helps to get my priorities straight. But enough about that. I've also decided there must be time in my life to work and to play. So when I have do work I work. And when I sit down for a cup of tea , I relax. So I'm sitting here right now in the cutest Irish bar in all of Hasselt enjoying an Irish bacon sandwich, an ear grey and some blissful Irish music. Soon it will be rush rush again but for now I'm just giving myself the luxury of pure relaxation. Life is so much prettier when one stops and looks at the world once in a while. More and more I find myself writing down my own thoughts in Emails, Blogs and so on. I'm writing quite a lot these days and thats probably because of the whole stuff that is taking place up at “Babylon”. Writing and reflecting on my life these days helps me to stay focused and prevents me from pondering things over and over in my thoughts. What else is true , is that i like to write. Been doing it since I was a kid , so its kinda 'my thing'. But i'm babbling. This morning I got an Email from one of my few few friends who writes me from time to time. She's someone i met only recently but we have a close bond. Somehow she's one of the only friends I can talk to about what is going on in my life. She's one of the few friends whose emails i look forward to and , to who i like sending a letter aswell. When i flip trough my inbox its mostly 'business stuff' superficial, practical emails from friends and colleagues. And then there is the occasional Emails that you want to print out on old parchment and file somewhere in a wooden box. As technocratic as I am , I still cherish the feel of real paper sometimes. Although it is becoming an antique in my collection , i still have some hand written letters sent to me by friends and girlfriends from a long time ago. It must have been ages since i wrote a 'real letter' and i petty the addressee who would have to decipher my horrible handwriting these days. So somehow its for the best that a keyboard is at my disposal from time to time. Reading this post back I see I'm on an uncharted target-less ramble about all kinds of everything. But that .. is sometimes nice to do as well. So my dear readers (i'm still wondering who all of you are) When was the last time you got a handwritten paper letter ? And when is the last time you sent one ? Times go fast dear friends. Sometimes we should hold the seconds in our hands and read the feeble moments with the concentration and the patience of reading a handwritten letter. If somehow we can find and feel the true passion of life and the preciousness of every moment , in the same way that a real letter is written.. then we might capture the beauty of being alive. Think about every second in your life. Its like writing a letter. You have to be careful not to make a mistake because there is no backspace key. You have to be clear and careful in the way you write things down because otherwise others might not be able to read what you mean. And real life follows that analogy. We have to be prudent in not only what we do.. but also how we do it. And sometimes others read different things then the words we wanted to write down in the book of life. Analogy's are everywhere…. One more i fold the page of the day and perfume it with the sent of life. I gently tuck it in the envelope of my memory's and move on to the next blank page ahead. So is life my friends… so is life.

Snow falls down, gentle white feathers of frozen dreams. My thoughts grow wings and dance trough them on warm and gentle wings. I look over the frozen world and my mind grabs hold of the deafening silence. I can sit here for hours and let my soul grasp the peace of the white curtain of the fallen tears of the sky. I wish i could wade trough lost and forgotten snows capes and let them grab hold of my worries and slumber them underneath the white blanket of peace. I do not feel like speaking of earthly things today. In a minds eye i see rows of silent sentinels watching the white plain. They salute their swords from afar as i walk trough their unwavering line of sight. I tilt my shield toward them in silent salute and am left alone with only my thoughts in the shadow of solitude. For hours i walk trough the snowcapped woods. Not a single soul to cross my path. No colorful voice to break the virgin white. A single but heartfelt smile settles beneath my icy nose and my eyes gleam with stars of hidden happiness. Only a single lonely hedon dares to break the clouded sky and i watch it intently as it crosses the heavens. As the floating feathers of ice cover my cloak… so do they cover my worries.

I'm seriously considering declaring Martial Law in my agenda starting March first. I've been to school yesterday and all the stuff we have to learn and get in our heads before the end of June is starting to freak me out. If I keep this pace up (letting the freebies take over the agenda) I’m going to flunk my year or go nuts (or both) So i'm working on a scheme to get my time management in order starting march the first. And I am going to try to rule with an iron fist. Perhaps I’ll even make a little project out of it. I did however give myself half an hour off yesterday as I had an 'iced coffee' in a little diner along the way to Leuven. I've been planning on going there for some time and have noticed that IF I give myself a little 'time off' i'm in a much better mood afterwards. (So I am going to do that more often). Listened to some great Tiesto tunes driving towards GroepT and although Swift is giving me a hard time , teasing me that I can't go along to the concert ,it won't spoil my mood (I hope Mickey Mouse takes Swift from behind .. NAH!)

Also did some updates on the mail knightwise.com page but still have to upload them. And i've did some browsing around for some free web templates since the KNIGHTNET.BE website has to be up pretty soon. Svenno promised to have everything ready by March first but i'm very cautious as to him actually getting to that deadline (I have sent him a flame mail , but no response yett). Any good cheap website designers out there ? ( It never hurts to have a backup in place just in case).

Weekend is coming and although I still have some work to do I'm really looking forward to spending some time with Nyana. Peraps we'll go walking in the snow somewhere or just lounge out in each others arms all afternoon. Don't know , don't care as long as we get to spend some time together. Time time time.. Do this do that .. my blog is more like my agenda.. I must bore you all to bitts.

To those of you who want to 'read on' why not try some blogs i check out every day :

the lovely Marjolein : http://www.20six.nl/marjolein ,

The spicy Kitty http://www.livejournal.com/users/_aikaterine_/

The naughty bois_inside http://www.livejournal.com/users/bois_inside/

The over- churchly Kirylinn: http://www.livejournal.com/users/kirylynn63/

and http://www.livejournal.com/community/sensuality_art/ for very nice pictures for your background , also found at http://www.livejournal.com/users/strochka/

Well , thats it for today. The poap is croacking in a hospital, the sun is shining, the weekend is coming and the first freebie will be shot and gutted with a rusty hairdryer.

Just a quicky on my Ibook, cause its been much to long since i had a chance to update. Life is a hectic non-stop string of events these days and I find myself frustrated and angry most of the time while rushing from one appointment to another. Its a mixture of anger at myself cause i'm so bad a saying NO, frustration over the fact that i don't get to do the things i want to do or should do (priority's all jumbled over) and disappointment at how some people treat you , even after you pull them from the mess they made themselves. Its like i am becoming this 'commodity' , this 'service' people think they can call upon whenever they please. Now let me just point out i'm NOT talking about friends and clients here. For friends i'm glad to be there, for clients i'm supposed to be there. But its mostly the 'freebies' that tick me off. I've been spending the last 2 weeks rushing between appointments for my family. I've been offering a helping hand in the shop, driving my dad to hospital, fixing up my brothers adsl connection, making a video for my cousine and so on. And it just never ends. What makes me mad is that these people just start taking me for granted. For example, I help out in the shop on Saturday morning so my brother can sleep in because he had to work late Friday night. We agree that it's till eleven o'clock (gives me a chance to go fetch some stuff at a clients place). At eleven I have to call him to check something (he's up and awake) but he doesn't come down until twelve o'clock. Totally jumbling up my plans. This is the kind of 'taken for granted' i mean. It pisses me off beyond belief. The arrogance that i might be some kind of personal slave who will work for you while you have the luxury of an long and good breakfast. I mean COME ON !!! I've been out that same Friday till four o'clock , and I got up early , (did NOT have breakfast) just to help him out. DAMN ! That is what pisses me off. I can drag up a few more examples but I'm not gonna do that. The thing is i'm frustrated that i have such a hard time saying NO to these people who, afterwards, treat me like shit anyway. Family is a burden my friends ! (at least i think so). But I should be more mad at me. For these last three years i have had a hard time getting some personal time. I have for example been planning to take myself out for a cup of coffee for about…. 3 weeks !!!!! Three whole weeks I have been planning to go out for a coffee with my Ibook, sitting down and having ONE freaking Cappuccino. Always something has come up. Or perhaps i LET it come up ( I can't sit down by myself and enjoy some down time without feeling guilty). I think I should be more assertive. Because all this shit is starting to influence our relationship. This week, me and Saskia had ONE HOUR to lie down on the couch in each others arms. And that is it for FIVE FUCKING DAYS ! Yesterday i squandered my ENTIRE evening making a video for my cousin and went straight to bed. From when i got home to when i went to bed i was the willing slave of my family. Waaw ,just great. But i'm on a rant here. Lets not get carried away. But its true. When you are rich , everybody wants a peace of you, when you are famous , everybody wants a peace of you , and when you have skills , everybody wants a peace of you. I'm down with that cause I make a living out of that skill. But what bothers me is that people start taking you for granted. (for example : freebies) The one thing that ticks me off is that they expect you to do stuff for them, go OUT of your way to get it done and meanwhile THEY are relaxing and being all relaxed and lazy about the whole thing. Damn I can just about TAKE OFF with pissed-ness . (BIIIIIGGG SIGH… RELAXXXXXXXX) .. There , thats better. Time for martial law in my agenda. No more mr Nice guy , Clients come first, freebies dissipate into oblivion.

In other news me and my ibook have become the best of friends. Along with the new mailserver at the Knightscastle (thank you Tuke) it has become the one major lifeline to home in these overly-mobile days. I love the white little one because you don't need to boot it up , just open the lid and tadaaaaa. You can start working right away. Sure there is about a ton of MAC-knowledge i have to learn, but for now the little baby does just what is has to do. It gives me a place to WORK. The new backpack I got (teeny-weeny Hedgren backpack , that lets me store my ibook along with the bare essentials) is becoming this 'standard bubble' on my back (and the steady companion where-ever I go) Been working on my 'mobile suitcase' an extra sportsbag to drag around in the car filled with more mobile equipment (books, hub, power cords, access point, mobile hard disk etc) I've had this setup before ( back when i was working for the ictopus project) and it was like a mobile-support-lab to carry around wherever i go. .. Isn't it strange that the more mobility i have in my life.. the more i crave to just be .. home ?

Continued on the road (where else).
I find myself amazed at the fact there is a Wifi Hotspot at my local hiardressers. Unfortunately its not free , you have to be a telenet client to use it or be a student at the PHL (i'm neither) So no free wifi 🙁 .. Damn , cant wait for the wifi-project that they are rolling out in Hasselt) Even the local Cafe across the street has been connected , but i just don't have a login (damn:§) But this makes living in Hasselt a whole lot easier. Come to think of it , what good is a mobile lifestyle if you don't have a permanent connection to the internet. I mean , using your computer off-line is pretty lame , isn't it ? But still. In other news : I have a new crave. I'm absolutely wild about bloggs. Livejournal has this page where in chronologicly posts every latest entry of bloggs posted on their servers. So you get this big palet of snippets of people's lives (one blogg entry for each blogg) and you get to peer into people's lives. Isn't that just great ? I just love reading trough the page and finding interesting pictures people posted or looking at what people are saying. Its quite addictive stuff :).

My love.

Time flows like a silent river. The babbling brooks of days gone by flow into its gently swinging curves. Like lightning strikes the dark but ever present horizon. I sail with you through the oceans of time and over the waves of life. You are the sea that keeps me afloat, you are the water that drowns me. You are the happyness I bathe in and you are the darkest abyss of my sorrow.

Everywhere I look I see you and even when my eyes are closed your love taints the darkness an amber gold. You are the core where my planets spin around. The center of the gravity of my existence. without you i would be lost, adrift in space. My heart cold and empty. My life bursting with the vacuum of emptyness.

It is so hard to find words that tell what you mean to me. For your soul cannot be caught in letters nor numbers. One cannot pin the wind to a peace of paper. Or paint a sunsett in black and white. There is so much of you I cannot grasp and cannot understand.

The only shell that clamps my feelings in a feeble motion is.. that i want to be yours forever.

Poetry just jumps me from time to time :).

Been a while since my last post. I have decided to let all the bad stuff flow away in this post. Don't feel like getting all wrapped up in it all over again. Yes , Babylon is still burning but I’m getting a bit used to the heat of the fire right now. The biggest challenge i have right now is the demand of my time. I'm swamped with stuff to do and things to arrange (its almost like the time when we where renovating our house) but I’m trying to cope with it. I face one of my biggest challenges everyday : Saying NO to people (messed up big time again yesterday by letting people take control of my time and just buckling instead of standing my ground). The only one who is fucked is Me (and Saskia) whenever my agenda is invaded with requests from others. It's hard saying no.. but as it turns out I’m going to have to learn it someday. I don't have anything planned yett for tonight (from 5 to 7 pm) so i have decided to take myself out for a cup of coffee (i have been planning this for three weeks in a row) and by god, I’m going to do it !. Just me .. and my Ibook (did i mention it arrived ?)

Yep , its here , from last Thursday i'm a proud mac owner and am enjoying my little 12" white buddy very much. Even bought myself a new tiny backpack to fit it all in and i am extremely pleased with my new outfit. Went to Aachen last week (did a beeline from Antwerp to Aachen to Hasselt just to be on time to pick it up).

I've started to realize I’m living a whole different life these days. I'm out the door so much that i hardly get the chance to sit down at my desk and do the work thats lying around there. I've been trying to come up with a ' techno survival pack' that helps mee 'keep in touch' with my 'home base'. Its quite difficult making your entire techno-surrounding adaptable to a life on the road. Its more then turning your office into a 'mobile office'. I'm trying to turn my 'life' into 'a-life-DOT-mobile'. (I’m techno ranting again.) But think of it as a cross-platform-opensourced-remotely-connected-portable-lifestyle. Now THERE is a title for an essay.

Because i am on the road this much I’m building this 'mobile lifestyle kit' in order to be able to survive while on the road and stay connected and in touch with my life at home. The way it looks right now it's pretty useless having all my stuff stored on my pc at home. So i'll just have to figure out a way to "get myself connected". The 'mobile office' i'm building is going to be just that. No matter where i go , I’ve got to have 'connectivity' or at least be able to work. So , First-class , web mail , vpn connections , war driving , Gmail , remote file access , remote desktop, blogging etc etc…. . it is going to have to come together to give me a virtual connection to my 'base-life'. Even in the weekends I’m out the door a lot so its imperative i get this stuff to work. (now here is a challenge 🙂 )