When you put your reflection in front of the mirror.. who is who ?

Nov 18

The autumn outside is slowly giving way. Every fiber in my body senses the growing defeat of falling leaves against the rising up March of the steel swords of winter. As I drove home yesterday evening it pleased me to have another wonderful cd in the player. The ones among you who only know VANGELIS from all time hits like Pulstar and Chariots of Fire are surely missing out something when they have never heard his recent albums. As the dark clouds closed the canopy above me and taillights pierced the murky darkness I crawled deep into my bubble of steel and floated trough the world on the tones of ' EL GRECO ' This cd filled with dark and gloomy tracks wrapped its sounds around me like a warm blanket. As drivers beside me ate up their steering wheels in frustrations I let my mind and thoughts be engulfed by the powerful sounds of Monserat Caballe and the Instrumental virtuoso Himself (Vangelis Pappadoplous). To write about music is like painting an apple. No matter how good you can describe it, there is no way you can taste it. But it was wonderful. Somehow driving makes me very relaxed and with the right music I am engulfed in the world of my own thoughts and feelings for that secluded time when I am driving home. Ever since I started working on this side of the country I have had calmness settle over me in the mornings. In the darkness of the dawning globe, I can let my feelings, impressions, emotions and idea's flow freely. As if life is a chessboard I pick up the peaces of my everyday life and roll them over in my hands, try to see them from every angle and decide where to move them next. Perhaps it is the coming of age; perhaps it is the time of the year. But somehow I feel that, looking back to the turbulent months that lay behind me, I have changed. I have always been this ever-changing chameleon, never quite the same in two places but still. How great is the difference once again. Those who knew me then and there would be surprised to see me here. And I? I find peace with it all because I know I am true to myself no matter who I may appear to be. Life is a shifting duality of shadow and light. And although those close to me think they know me. I can only give them a mysterious smile and think 'you don't have a clue yet…’

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