Sparse sunlight and a poem over an encripted connection.

Mar 17

First of all : No pic today cause i'm mobile , Bloging at 'De geletterde mens' in Hasselt . Damn , My schedule at work changed today so I'm gonna have to start out later and finish an hour later allmost every day. The days I CAN start on time i'm gonna be driving straight up to school (MAN THIS SUX) I'm not pleased , but I don't realy have a choice in the matter. Since class was canceled today I found mysellf in the luxurious position of being able to set foot in town and catch some daylight when I got home. Enjoyed it. Went for a walk, Ipod on .. smelled the spring coming and tried to feel alive once more. I'm not one to complain about my busy lifestyle but… this is getting rediculous. Allmost every spare moment is bashed up with stuff to do. Work , school, the company … I've had to let all the freebies slide or i just won't have any life left at all. I'm seriously doubting how long i'm going to be able to keep it up. Work is time consuming (allthough i spend my commute-time wisely by listening to podcasts , I'm out at the crack of dawn and am now going to be back a lot later in the evening) Clients for my own little company need to be done and on top of that there is school , grabbing me away 2 whole nights a week , in a row. But somehow, no matter how fast i live, life seems to pass me by. I miss out on things, sitting on a terrace in the evening sun, walking through the park , having a cappuchino in the middle of the day.. boy i do miss those things. Maybe its just the spring bothering me.. but i've noticed i have given up so much these last years only to 'serve and protect' Its not allways fun. I try to do everything, if possible at once, and end up not being able to enjoy anything because I don't have the freakin time anymore to sit down and relax. It gets me frustrated sometimes. No matter how much I embrace my mobile lifestyle and encorporate it into my very life.. I often long for being at home, sitting at my kitchen table.. The cat not fare away. Plugged into a wired port into the familiar subnet of my own home. The more you travel the more restless it makes you feel sometime. But still. I'm happy to have my little blogg and enjoy the people that pass by and leave nice comments (thank you Marjolein). Its a good thing Nyana is a patient gall and that I guard that 1.5 free days we have together like a lion. If i woudn't do that , there would be nothing left at all. I would end up drowning in my olwn enthousiasm and getting burried in stuff to do . Everytime spring comes I have this same restless feeling. The call of the Hedon. I wrote a poem about that once . The anthem of my soul. I'll post it when i get the chance. ( VPN's home , acces personal files , transfer file, open with neooffice , copy paste.. damn , this mobile setup is REALY kickin ass !) Here ya go…

The call of the hedon.

Silence surrounds me like a silver cloak.
Thoughts roam like feathers in the storm.
Time glides like lava trough snow.
Truth eludes me like boiling vapour.

All I feel inside is the quest.
For the unknown destination,
For an unknown reason,
With an unknown concequence.

All I know is that I seek.
Unknown for what or where or why
Perhaps I chase the untouchable
Reach for the point beond the line.

Restless am I who never sleeps.
Never sits down , never at ease.
With one foot pointing at the door.
Although I don’t know where I’m going next.

Always the visitor , never the host..
Always the traveler and never the guest.
Always the searcher , but yet never found.
Always the mistery , never the truth.

I do not know what calls in my heart
Only that it’s the scream of the hedon
Restlesly dancing on the song of time.
Always a spec beyond the horizon.

I reach for the answers.
To end an endless quest .
But am afraid to find them one day.
For where shall I be then … and where must i stay.

Peace out !

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